Letters from Thailand

{March 11, 2009}   Dear Parents

I know it’s been a while, but inspiration has been very low.  However a bizarre adjustment to the dress-code at my place of employment finally incited my reactionary nature.  My response follows:

Dear Parents,

An Apology

It has recently been brought to my attention that I have been rather lax in keeping myself abreast of the latest methods in pedagogy and your child’s progress will likely have suffered as a result.

Due to my lack of diligence in researching new teaching methods, my esteemed and knowledgeable Principal has advised me that for the past two terms, I have been doing a major disservice to your child by my wearing of trousers that do not quite reach the ankles. Upon hearing this, I felt I had to write to you to offer my humblest apologies for neglecting your child’s education.

Please be assured that from now on, I will be doing my best to reverse this by attiring myself more appropriately in the classroom and school environs.  Should the material to cover* be especially demanding, I shall complement my outfit by wearing long sleeves, mittens, a balaclava and tinted ski-goggles.

Should these measures be insufficient to rectify the damage I have been inflicting on your child for the past six months, then I will willingly reconsider my career options and apply for positions in countries where my immodest style is more appreciated. If you know of any possible schools in Saudi Arabia, where the more relaxed burkha would be more inline with my teaching style, please feel free to make your recommendations.

Once again, my humblest apologies and thanks for your understanding.

Yours sincerely,

Ms. Kosmo

* I know the English is a little clunky, but liked the sound of the pun!


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