Letters from Thailand

{March 17, 2009}   Weekend Yehs and Mehs

I am planning to compose one of these after each weekend as I want to try to make a better job of maintaining the blog in the hope that my writing improves, and my current state of apathy (which has seemed worryingly permanent) will lift. I can’t say it will be of special interest to anyone, unless they’re in need of a soporific (big word – Yeh!) But, here goes.

Friday. After work. Two-for-one margaritas. Here. Yeh!

Saturday. First thing in the morning. Headache caused by aforementioned beverages. Meh. Resulting in not being able to go out that night, which brings me to the next Meh: Revolutionary Road. I could only watch the first 10 minutes – Kate and Leo, ever so over the post-Titanic honeymoon phase, arguing (rather pointlessly, in my opinion) in a theatre, in a car and out of the car. The Seven-Year-Itch? Whatever it was, my poor head just could not cope. I had to switch from the DVD player to the normally crap cable TV in my building. But wait! What is this? Yeh! The series channel has come back after a two-month absence. Oh Meh. It’s gone again. It very kindly waited until after Grey’s Anatomy had finished, though. Yeh! Decadent dinner of smoked salmon Philadelphia (a very costly luxury) and crackers. Another one for the Yehs!

Sunday Cinema to see Shopaholic. Yeh! Although am a tad worried that my intellect is now so diminished (meh) that I enjoyed this MUCH more than Revolutionary Road. I read a Jilly Cooper the other week, too. Can somebody help me, please?! Dinner later here. Food was a bit meh, but the company was Yeh! – Thanks Ms. O.

And, to end on a YEH! Series channel still not back, but Fox Crime has appeared in its place. CSI episodes back to back. YEH, YEH, YEH!

Back next week, should inspiration fail to strike in the meantime.


{March 11, 2009}   Dear Parents

I know it’s been a while, but inspiration has been very low.  However a bizarre adjustment to the dress-code at my place of employment finally incited my reactionary nature.  My response follows:

Dear Parents,

An Apology

It has recently been brought to my attention that I have been rather lax in keeping myself abreast of the latest methods in pedagogy and your child’s progress will likely have suffered as a result.

Due to my lack of diligence in researching new teaching methods, my esteemed and knowledgeable Principal has advised me that for the past two terms, I have been doing a major disservice to your child by my wearing of trousers that do not quite reach the ankles. Upon hearing this, I felt I had to write to you to offer my humblest apologies for neglecting your child’s education.

Please be assured that from now on, I will be doing my best to reverse this by attiring myself more appropriately in the classroom and school environs.  Should the material to cover* be especially demanding, I shall complement my outfit by wearing long sleeves, mittens, a balaclava and tinted ski-goggles.

Should these measures be insufficient to rectify the damage I have been inflicting on your child for the past six months, then I will willingly reconsider my career options and apply for positions in countries where my immodest style is more appreciated. If you know of any possible schools in Saudi Arabia, where the more relaxed burkha would be more inline with my teaching style, please feel free to make your recommendations.

Once again, my humblest apologies and thanks for your understanding.

Yours sincerely,

Ms. Kosmo

* I know the English is a little clunky, but liked the sound of the pun!

et cetera