There are only three days left before I leave these shores, and it’s time to ponder those aspects of life here in the UK that I will miss (or not.)  Anyway, here goes (in no particular order):

I will miss:

• Old friends and the new ones I’ve made in the last couple of years.
• Being able to buy a bottle of wine for less than a fiver.
• Going into a shop with the certainty that they will have in stock, something in my size.
• Primarni.
• My Dad’s special macaroni cheese.
• My Mum’s roast dinners.
• Family – especially my gorgeous little nephew – so glad I’ve been around to see him develop from birth to toddlerhood.
• Spending summer afternoons at a beach, in a park or at a theme park – and getting paid for it!
• Reality TV (especially The Apprentice, to see local posho, Katie, finally get her comeuppance, and this year’s BB)
• Walkers Salt & Vinegar and Prawn Cocktail.
• Being able to understand most conversations taking place in the immediate vicinity.
• My bright red trench coat.

I won’t miss:

• Cold weather.
• Nasty foot fungus, brought on by having to cover my feet in socks & boots due to the above.
• The smoking ban.
• Paying nearly a fiver for a packet of cigarettes.
• Annoying adverts for idiots who have got themselves into too much debt and think that getting into even more debt will actually help.
• The scent of aggression that permeates every street after dark, courtesy of the local chavalry.
• Getting the last bus home (at 11.10 pm!) or else having to pay a small fortune for a taxi.

I’m sure there are a lot more things to add, but will continue in a later post about the things I’m looking forward to…..

I just found this quote online while doing exactly that (procrastinating, that is!) and how appropriate it is at the moment!  I’ve just come back from the travel agent having finally booked my flight to Thailand this Saturday! 

I would love to be one of those people who can get really excited about a trip, but I can’t.  This is because I am the world’s least organised packer.  Being a girl, travelling light isn’t easy for me – I once went away for 2 weeks in the sun, but packed about 100 outfits for each season – just in case the tropical island I was staying on was struck by freak rain or snow storms, you understand.  I also packed outfits of various sizes in case I miraculously lost (or less miraculously, gained) several kilos during that two-week stay. Now, I find myself having to pack for at least a year (and with a 20kg limit) and this scares me.

As well as the quantity of items I take, I can never pack in good time.  I always end up leaving it until the very last minute, very often the morning I’m due to depart – a morning that almost always follows a big, minging-drunk night before.  As a result, I arrive at my destination with too much stuff, very little of it being appropriate for the climate or my current body shape (I’m a bit of a yo-yo’er when it comes to weight)

 Still, thank heavens for this latest distraction.  Along with daytime TV, chocolate ice-cream and cigarettes, blogging will ensure that tradition is maintained and that my head will remain in the sand until Saturday morning.  I mean, there are worse ways to screw yourself, aren’t there?

Right now I could be strolling along the Seine or sitting, watching the world pass by in a pavement cafe.  Instead, I am sitting in an apartment waiting for DHL man to deliver some very important documents.  Life can be such a bummer.

It’s got me wondering if people ever think about the impact of their daily, mundane duties on the lives of people like you and me.  In this case, if I do not receive these documents, I cannot get my visa for Thailand processed in time, which will result in having to pay (given my finances) a small fortune to a so-called budget airline to change my flight to England (where I currently live), giving me even less time to pack and, even worse,leaving me with no time to organise a farewell party with my friends.

Actually, the problem does not lie with DHL.  If the post office in England had been as efficient as it should be, then I would have received everything last Saturday, before I came here.  I could have then gone to the Thai Embassy on Monday and right now I could be strolling along the Seine or sitting, watching the world pass by in a pavement cafe with a visa already glued into my passport, and without a care in the world.

It has now been 2 days since my favourite frog plied me with champagne and coerced me into starting this blog malarkey.  Ok, I admit that, in my tipsy state it was a good idea at the time, but now, in the cold, sober light of day, I have to find interesting and witty things to say.  And that’s the hard part.

You see, I don’t consider myself sufficiently knowledgeable about a subject (any subject) to offer an opinion on it, for fear of appearing to be an utter pillock.  In real-life discussions among friends I am most likely to just sit back and listen to their topic of conversation and hope to learn something (provided said topic is of interest to me, otherwise I just sit back and contemplate more urgent matters such as the state of my eyebrows at the moment.)  Furthermore, if pressed to make a contribution to the discussion (a question demanding a yes or no answer, for example) I lose all credibility by contradicting myself hundreds of times due to a pathalogical disease to please all by appearing to agree with them, which really does make me look like an utter pillock!

In fact, there are only a few occasions when I can be confident in giving an opinion of my own;  They include:

• Bitching about people I don’t like.
• Bitching about people I pretend to like.
• Bitching about people I like but who don’t like me
• Bitching about people I like but who occasionally do things that piss me off.
• Bitching about people I read about in magazines.

This means that my top 4 topics are off-limits, just in case I get caught.  And Perez Hilton has already cornered the market for number 5 (and a wonderful job he does, too!)  which leaves me with nothing of substance to say!

I guess I could start to write about my new life in Thailand (when I eventually get there!) but this too is not without drawbacks – I could only give an oversanitized version of events in case my mum sees this!

So, there we have it:  The start of a potentially deadly boring blog until I get myself some therapy or learn how to upload interesting pictures.

Guess who’s moving to Thailand in a couple of days? And guess who’s drinking Champagne in Paris right now?